Aya and Flounder

Dear Flounder,

This post is strictly just here to cheer you up. If reminding you for a brief moment I was co-owner of an Apple product doesn’t cheer you up, I don’t know what will.

I was looking at this picture … I challenge you to come up with an answer about something in our friendship that begins with the letter ‘A’ to blab about and the game is … what to bring to a deserted island … remember that FB reel you showed me? Maybe this post will take a minute to complete … and we do not have to complete it this time around.

Flounder, stay calm. Everything is going to work itself out. I promise you.

Aya

Tag. You’re. It. 

P.S. as the time gets closer and closer to me returning stateside … I am here looking at all the European box chargers I have that will not be compatible with the outlets. I am the proud owner of not one, not two … but three European box chargers. This is what is currently on my mind. Aside from a small headache, my Love and getting to play this awesome game with you on our online friendship diary 🙂 

Flounder: Okay, so I forgot how the game goes… Can you refresh me?

Tag.

Aya: You pick a theme, unbeknownst to me, and then you begin the game with one word that follows that theme. For example: things that start with the letter ‘L’ or things that are yellow. And until you guess the theme or start contributing to what is brought upon the island, you are not allowed to join me on the island.

Do you want me to start?

Flounder: Yes, you start. I like the “A” thing. So I would guess an anvil. 

Aya: If the theme was things that begin with the letter ‘A’ then, yes, that would be something you can bring to the island. But that is not the theme. I thought of one … 

Here is the item that will give you a clue. 

Scarf.  

Tag, you’re it.

Flounder: Okay, so I would bring jeans.

Aya: You cannot come to the island. Try again. 

Flounder: Socks.

Aya: Try again. 

Flounder: A zip-up hoodie.

Aya: Try again. 

Flounder: I am not good at this, a computer (laptop)

Aya: Do you give up, or would you like to leave this one open-ended?

Flounder: One or two more guesses… a blanket?

Aya: You are getting closer. Try again. 

Flounder: Hmm… a tent?

Aya: Getting colder. Try again. One. More. Time. Then I will tell you.

Flounder: Pillows

Aya: False. Give up? 

Flounder: I do, after blankets, it opened things up.

Aya: Winter accessories to wear when it is extremely cold (snow-cold).

Flounder: I was going to guess warm gloves

Aya: I would’ve invited you to the island, for sure, after that contribution. 

Flounder: I second-guessed myself.

Aya: The world operates on infinite multiple choice, no? 

Flounder: It truly does. I chose a blanket and was considering things that can cover you. I like playing the game even if I didn’t get invited to the island this time. 

Aya: 🙂 If you have an extra pair of warm gloves, I guess you can join. Bundle up. This island will need them in the Winter time, believe it or not.

Flounder: I have a scarf, gloves and a good warm beanie. I figured out something that I did not consider until this morning. Being sick for three weeks pushed it out of mu mind and it might be one of the reasons I am feeling depressed.

Aya: Dime (this is what people say to each other in Spain when the person that is talking to them needs to share something … I am not sure if I spelled it correctly… the most accurate colloquial translation would be … spill).

Flounder: I would have been teaching in Korea (if everything had gone right) right now. I think it makes me sad that I am still here when I should be teaching in a place I want to be right now. I kinda kid myself in a way, and I know its coming, but I never let myself feel that it hurt me that I was so close, yet there are things like my mental health status that could keep me from achieving this dream. Perhaps thats why I am so burnt about writing and school. Thoughts, Aya?

Aya: There are so many intellectual portrayals of what could potentially be bothering you. Was it like a resounding gong when this thought occurred to you? Feeling crestfallen about Korea? When you realized it hurt you?

Flounder: A resounding gong is a great metaphor and yes it felt that way because I worked so hard to prove that I could work but now I am struggling again with what I do, looking for work, and wondering if I can actually go. Mental health is an unknown barrier that I feel can only hurt me, and that hurts me. I never chose this life and I would never wish it on anyone. My history is almost behind me, yet… it could keep my present or future from happening. I KNOW I do not know what will happen, but it is scaring me not one thing in my life is solidified. If I was in SK and struggling, at least I could have something positive. 

Aya: I am hearing you feeling frustrated with numerous things. It reminded me of someone I met before I met you that told me they spent half their life in prison. One of the sentences they received once they were let out of prison will follow them the rest of their lives unless it becomes expunged by executive order and that is that they are never allowed to leave the continental United States. They seemed to have made peace with it. Being outside prison, there are other prisons one could be in. On the one hand, you feel the want to be in Korea, on the other, you say teaching and being in Korea. What are you actually upset about? 

Flounder: I am upset at myself, for allowing myself to not push harder. I think that’s good for here. 

Aya: Alright. We can go offline. P.P.S. I just realized that the way I initially explained how the game begins is totally wrong 🙂 But we figured it out in the end. I hope you can express yourself when we go offline.